Disciples Love (John 13:34-35)

We live in a very remarkable world, from things like being able to walk into your kitchen and turn on the water and have clean, clear water come out. In fact, it's so good, and so we're so taking these things for granted that we have clean, clear water coming into our house. Something that is very recent developed for most of history while your waterborne sickness is a big deal, and you have to go carry water and pull it out of a well. And now we complain about our tap water, and then we'll spend some cases thousands of dollars filtering it to make it even more clean. We live in a world where communication can be almost instantaneous. A world where medicine, through God's common grace, can treat things that used to be a death sentence. We live in a world full of marvels, and so many times we have forgotten how wonderful these things truly are.

And I think our text this morning falls into a similar kind of category. These words that I'm about to read with you, and we're going to spend time studying this morning, are words that we have heard before, not just in here, but in John's first letter to the church when the apostle John writes to the church. Many of these same things are present in his letter, and so we've heard these things a lot. And as a result, we sort of tend to take them for granted, and we say, "Oh, isn't that nice? Isn't that interesting?" And so we're going to try to take a look at them this morning, deeply, and by God's grace and through the work of His Spirit, hopefully see the wonder that is found in this text. I'm going to read these few short verses, and then we'll spend some time

together unpacking them. "Little children, yet a little while, and while I am with you, you will seek me. And just as I said to the Jews, so now I also say to you, where I am going, you cannot come." And so Jesus, as He is predicting His death at the meal that is going to happen, His last supper before His death, He's saying, "I'm going away. I've talked about this before, and to others. And where I'm going, you cannot come." And so as part of His final words in these chapters of John, He says this, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another just as I have loved you. You also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

Now this and these words for one another are very familiar. And while one of our struggles, I've heard that before, there's another reason that we struggle, and it's simply this: We don't like to be told what to do. Most of us don't like somebody coming in and telling us what to do. Specifically, as Americans, right? This is why, as Americans, we drink more coffee than tea, right? Because we are Americans. In fact, I read a statistic as I was looking this up, because it sort of piqued my curiosity. 40% of tea in America is served at restaurants, which means the majority of the tea Americans drink, or a lot of the tea Americans drink, is iced tea, which is also kind of an insult as well, right? It also means that when you're at home by yourself, you're far more likely to choose coffee than tea, as God intended.

And so we don't like to be told what to do, and so when we come to things, especially with the word "command" or "commandment," we tend to struggle. And so one of our struggles is that this is familiar, and another is that we don't like to be told what to do. And I want us to see this morning that this is not just a command to love or about love, but that this command originates in love, is empowered in love, and that the disciples of Jesus will be known for their love. That this command starts in love, we are strengthened to follow it by love, and ultimately it becomes the mark of God's people in a very, very practical way, not just in sort of an "I kind of love you" way. So I want to start by talking about the love that Jesus has for His disciples and for us. In John 13:33, it just begins like this: "Little children." And I want you to think about how Jesus begins as He speaks to His disciples in this moment where emotion is high. He has just washed their feet.

Judas has just headed out the door to betray Him, and Jesus' next words as He begins to speak to them is, "Little children." And it might seem strange because He's talking to eleven grown men. Eleven grown men, many of whom have families. They all have jobs. And a couple of them kind of get a little rowdy and sometimes like to attack people. It would be like coming into a group full of grown men and going, "Hey kiddos, what's happening?" "Hey kids." And it can be a fighting word for a man. So I call my dog sometimes, my little puppy. He's five months old, and so sometimes I'll say to him, "Hey little dude," or "Hey little man," right, because he's little and he's a dude. Now if some guy comes walking up who's in his forties or fifties, and I'm like, "Hey little man," right, that's a whole different story, right?

We're going to probably end up fighting about that. And so Jesus, as he speaks to his disciples, these grown men, what do they go? He goes, "Hey little kids," "Hey kiddos." This is what is known in Greek as a diminutive. And what it means is taking a word and making it smaller, like we do with nicknames, or ways to express our love to somebody. The husband to wife, or a wife to a husband, and they have a little nickname. Hey sweetheart, hey honey, hey boo bear, right? You have all these little nicknames, or like when we talk to our kids. We might take their names and shorten them up, or play on words a little bit. What we're doing is we're showing our closeness, and we're showing our affection. And so what Jesus is doing here, as he says, "Hey little children," and this is the only place that Jesus ever says this, he's showing that he knows them, he loves them, and he cares about them.

John. So Jesus says it once, the Apostle Paul says it once, John, it becomes his favorite name for God's people. And seven times in his first letter to the churches, he'll say little children, and we learn in church history that John, as he is old, and he is crippled, and as he's about to die, he can't even walk to church. So some dudes from church will carry him into church, the church will gather around John, and what he does is he just goes, "Hey little children, love one another." Right? These words have a massive impact on the Apostle John. And so what we find is that what Jesus is about to say isn't coming because they need a new rule. It's coming from a place of love. And I don't know if you've ever been the reason somebody had to make a new rule. Some of us probably have, like we have rules maybe named after us. I'm pretty sure that in high school, because of me and my friends, they had to reprint

the student handbook at least twice while we were there to add extra rules because we found loopholes or did things and it's like, "Well, there's no rule against that." It's like, "Well, there is now." Right? Jesus, when he comes to this command, he's not going, "Man, you guys are terrible. What we need is more rules." What Jesus is doing is, in his love, is telling us something that is both wonderful and deeply powerful. You see, love is at the center of the next two verses, 34 and 35. He's going to use it four times. And the example that he gives of this love is the love that he possesses and has demonstrated that ultimately becomes the sign or the trademark of the disciples. And you find this love is to be the characteristic of a disciple of Jesus. I want to read these next two verses and then we want to ask some questions of this text. "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another just as I have loved

you, you also are to love one another." And so the first question we want to ask of this is how can this be a new commandment? The entirety of the Old Testament law, the law of Moses, can be summed up by two commandments. One is love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, your strength and your might. Deuteronomy 6:5. The second commandment that can sum up the law of God is you shall love your neighbor as yourself. Leviticus 19. And what's interesting is if you even take the Ten Commandments and you read through them, what you'll find is there's two categories in the Ten Commandments. Your love for God and your love for those who are around you. Love your neighbor as yourself. Paul unpacks that a little bit in Romans 13 and Galatians 5 and Jesus in Matthew 12. When he's asked what the greatest commandment is, he says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind."

And the second is like that. Love your neighbor as yourself. So how is this a new commandment? God's already told us to love our neighbor. In fact, in Leviticus 19, what we find is love your neighbor as yourself. Not vengeance, not a grudge, not hatred. And here's the difference between what you've seen so far in Scripture and what Jesus says here in John 13. In the Old Testament, the standard of love was love your neighbor as you love yourself. Now Jesus is saying something that's far deeper and far more wonderful. Love as I have loved you. Not as you love yourself, but as I, Jesus, have loved you. Jesus takes this existing command and makes it so much deeper. And think about how Jesus loves. He loves humbly. He loves sacrificially. His love is costly.

John, washing the disciples' feet. They've been walking around in sandals, rightly the place of a servant, but Jesus instead gets down and washes their feet. And sometimes we try to use love to manipulate. To say, "Well, because I love you, this is what you should do." Or, "If you really love me, this is what you should do for me." But not Jesus. While we were still weak. At the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person, though perhaps for a good person, one would dare even to die. But God shows his love for us, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. It's a love that lasts. In Jeremiah 31:3, it says, "Therefore, I have continued in my faithfulness to you. I have loved you with an everlasting love." The newness of this command is not found in

in the command of love, but in the kind of love with which we are to love. And you might say, "Well, why does this have to be a command? Why does it have to be commanded?" And I think the simple answer is this, because this kind of love does not come naturally, right? You don't have to be commanded to do something that you want to do, right? At dinner, it's never to the kids, "Well, you better eat all your ice cream, or you're going to be in trouble," right? You don't have to be commanded to do things that you love to do. Things that come naturally to you. The things that have to be commanded are those things that go against what we would normally do, that go against our nature and our heart. And because this kind of love does not come naturally, we aren't able to do it on our own. And even if we wanted to do this on our own, we can't. We can't afford to do it.

I was working as an associate minister in my home church, and I was running to Staples. We needed something for either a project of the church. I don't remember even what I was going to get. And so I grabbed the church Staples card, jumped in the car, ran around the corner to the Staples. And I went in and I realized as I was in my car that I had forgotten my wallet and it didn't matter because I had the church Staples card. But then I get to the Staples and I pull in and I can still remember sitting in my car and looking up at the door of Staples. I had one of those fundraising tables blocking the one door to Staples. And it was like a very worthy cause, right? It was a cause that normally everybody would look at and go, "Hey, that's great. We should give some money to that." And so I walk up and not only was there a fundraising table, but there was like one of those people who was very passionate about what they were fundraising for. And so they're giving me the sales pitch and I'm like, "Look, I have no money." And I walk into the store and I buy a bunch of stuff, pay for it with the church Staples.

And then I now have to walk out past this lady with a cart just filled with bags as she just stares holes into my soul because I just got done saying, "I have no money whatsoever." And now I have a cart full of things. And it didn't matter that the reality was I didn't have any money. My wallet was sitting on my desk back at the church. And even if I had wanted to, right, I couldn't have given her any money. That's where it comes in our lives when we hear, "Love one another as I have loved you." We cannot do it. We cannot afford it. We are unable to do it. Here's the thing. You cannot love like Jesus if you don't know Jesus and if you have not been transformed by Jesus. The only way this command works is if you know Jesus

and have been transformed by Him. In fact, take a look at this in 1 John 4. "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God, and anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this, the love of God was made manifest, that God sent His only Son into the world so that we might live Him, not only do we know what love looks like because of Jesus, but any love that we have comes because we know Him and have been changed and transformed by Him." You see, knowing the love of God first has to be the place where we begin if we're to love one another. Secondly, what is love? I want to think about defining words. One of the things we learn in life is that words can mean different

based on contents or circumstances. I always think about this, especially when I was growing up, because everywhere that we went when we lived in Vermont was far away, it seemed like. Like 35 to 45 minutes to an hour. We wanted to go see Cousins. It was a couple hours. And so my idea of a short drive was a little skewed compared to what it is now where everything is generally within 5 or 10 minutes of where I live. And so when you would say a short drive when I was a kid, I was thinking, "All right, well, we've got to leave an hour early." Now when I think of a short drive, it's like I can jump in the car 3 minutes before I have to be there and still get there in time. So we need to define what our words are. And love is one of those places.

And I think this is so very important because the way our culture uses the word love today is not in a biblical right way. In fact, so many times what we do is we use love like a shield to blood. block any consequences of wrongdoing. Well, you can't correct me because that's not loving. I should be allowed to do this because of love. And so we need a biblical definition of love. And what we find is we don't want to define love by our culture, but by the word of God. And our English word love is in a little bit a very broad word. We sort of use it to describe everything in life. We say, "I love coffee, and I love my wife." And that may be a bad example because those things are very, very close. Rachel edges out coffee a little bit, right? But we use word to describe everything, right? "I love this weather we're having. I love this view as we look out over nature. I love this meal." But then we talk about loving our families, our wives, our children, our grandparents, right? We mean different things when we talk about love.

In the Greek language, and you've heard this if you've been in church before, they have different words for love. So you have like phileo, which means brotherly love. It's the word that we get Philadelphia from. It doesn't seem necessarily a real loving city, but it's in the name. There's love that means romance and attraction, chemistry between men and women. There's love that means a picture between family, like parents and children. Children, grandparents and children. But the word that is used most frequently in the New Testament is agape love, the kind of love that is selfless, unconditional, freely given for the good of others, even if it's not returned, even if it's costly, even if it hurts. It is a self-sacrificing, never giving up kind of love. He asks that we would know the unknowable love, its height and width and depth, and to see that love. What we find is that if we do not know God, we cannot know this kind of love. Because this love has different parts to it. So for example, this love is both justice and mercy. It is both tough and tender.

It confronts us and comforts us. That this love of God does not just simply say, "It's okay," but there are times when this love comes and says you need to stop doing this. We understand this instinctually in life. So a couple Saturdays ago, we had some friends over from out of town we hadn't seen in a while, and so I cooked a brisket. It was really, really good, in part because it had a lot of fat on it. And so as I was pulling some aluminum foil off the smoker, I set it on the side. On Saturday, Sunday, we came back after church, and there's Ranger, the little idiot, heading right for the foil, and he grabs a piece of this foil, and it's problematic for two reasons. One, because it's just straight fat, right?

And we have to live inside a house with this dog for the next period of time, right? Nobody wants that. The second is, he's probably going to eat that foil. And so he grabs this piece of foil, and he runs underneath the trampoline, and he begins not just to lick the foil, but to rip it up and to start to eat it. And I'm going, right, either this is a vet bill or, like, he's going to have to stay outside for a while. And so what I did, after, like, looking at the options, like, well, I can crouch down and try to get under there, but he has got four legs, I've got two legs, he's going to be faster. So finally, I was like, "I got it." So I went and turned on the garden hose. And I just sprayed him straight in the face. And he went flying out front of the trampoline, turned off those, and went right back

to it. So I sprayed him again. Right? Now, it turns out he likes to be sprayed in the face, but it kept him away from the foil long enough for us to retrieve. Now, I wasn't trying to be cruel. I wasn't like, "Hey, I'm going to make this dog suffer for what he has done." Right? I'm doing it for his own good. And so sometimes the love of God is, yes, comforting, and close, and holds you in tears. And sometimes the love of God is a harsh confrontation of your sin to lead you to repentance, to bring you to where you need to be. And so the question is for us, what does it mean to love this way? Practically, what does it look like? And I think one of the best ways that we can learn what things mean in the Bible is often from the Bible.

So if you want to learn what faith means, what does the Bible say about it? You want to learn what hope looks like? What does the Bible say? When you want to know what love looks like, let's take a look at the Word of God. Now there's an entire chapter written in the Bible about love. Most of the time we sort of conflate it with romantic love, and we read it at weddings, but that's not the picture. It's in 1 Corinthians, a church where everybody's mad at each other. They're bragging about how much they're better than everybody. They're fighting over everything from spiritual gifts to the resurrection to the Lord's Supper. They're bragging each other to court and suing each other. And so Paul says, "You guys got to learn some love." The kind of love that Jesus spoke about that we are to have with one another. And so he begins to unpack it.

And the point right before where we're going to get to in just a minute, Paul goes, "Without love, you guys are super annoying." And what he actually says is you're a clanging gong or a resounding cymbal. If you've ever had your kids take some metal pot lids and bang them together, Paul is saying that's what you sound like as a Christian and as a church if you are not filled with love. And then let's take a look at what he says, and we're going to move through this very quickly. He says this, "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy nor boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things." And so very quickly and sort of rapid fire, first of all, love is patient. Just as God has been patient toward us from 2 Peter 2, we show love toward others when we're patient with them, even when they're annoying, even when they're frustrating, even when they're a struggle to be around, even when they have wronged us. Love is kind. In fact, Paul will say in Romans 2:4 that the kindness of God is what calls us to repentance, that it's sympathetic, that it's gentle. It says that love does not envy. Envy is resenting others for what they have, or wanting what they have as well. And you sort of see this sometimes in our world, when something bad happens to somebody who has a lot,

you say, "Oh, that's terrible, but they can afford it." It's not a big deal when it happens to them. They can take care of it. And what you find is that love, first of all, is patient. It's kind. It does not envy either wanting what they have, or looking down, or treating them badly because of what they have. It does not boast. Love doesn't always just brag about all the good that it has done. Love does not love the limelight. Love is not arrogant. That means looking down on others. Like Grandma Nelson once said, right, their nose is so high that if it rained, they'd drown, right? And sometimes what happens is in our position, we begin to look down on others. Well, I'm better than them because of this, and I made this decision better, and I've done this better.

Paul says, "Love's not like that." Love is not rude. And the picture here is abrasive, right? Just like sandpaper takes off the wood and smooths it, there are some people whose personality can be described with one word, right? It's abrasive, right? When we hear about speaking the truth in love, what is meant by that is that the offense people take with the truth must be the truth, not the abrasiveness or harshness or rudeness of our personality. Love does not seek its own way. Love doesn't shove everybody out of the way to get to the front of the line. It's not irritable, not constantly angry. Love is not resentful. Now, some of your translations, and this is a good translation, will say love does not keep a record of wrongs. Here's the reality. Like, some people love history, but all of us, in this case, love history, right?

We're really, really good at remembering how people have hurt us and have wronged us. And if you've ever been in this argument where somebody will say to you, "Well, do you remember when you did this?" And you might go, "I don't remember what I did for breakfast, but I sure remember what you did right after that." And a lot of us are really good at becoming historians in the wrongdoing of other people. What Paul says is, "Love is not resentful. It keeps no record of wrongs." In fact, it's said in Scripture this way, that God takes our sins and separates them as far as the East is from the West. And it's not an accident that it's written that way. Because there is a fixed distance between North and South. You can measure that. And if he said, "God separates us from our sins as far as the North is from the South,"

we can put a number on that and qualify that. But what happens if you separate the East from the West? If you start going East, when do you stop going East? The answer is never. If you go West, when do you stop going West? Never. That the way God has dealt with our sins is not that He's forgetful and forgets where He put the record. It's that He said, "I have separated them so far from you that you'll never, ever see them again." And what we are called to do if we know God and are transformed by God is to keep no record of wrongs. Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Now this is probably one of the most difficult ones in our world and in our culture. We sometimes, maybe even unintentionally, take joy in evil.

You want to know how much, how evil gets so quickly accepted in our world? It starts as a joke. We laugh about it, and then all of a sudden it becomes something that we delight in. And this is hard sometimes for us because the truth hurts, and we can't fix what's not broken. He says, "We don't rejoice in wrongdoing. Love bears all things, believes, hopes, and endures all things." That word bear means to endure something unpleasant. And so many times what happens when it comes to love is we immediately, when it gets hard and unpleasant, we run for the exit. And Paul says that's not what love looks like, but it's more than just bears all things. This word can also mean bears on the behalf of someone else. That love steps in front of the troubles of other people and takes those upon themselves rather than just running away.

Love believes the best in people, gives them the benefit of the doubt, that it hopes in the future and hopes for their best, that it keeps going just as God has kept going with us. In this is love. Not that we have loved God, but that He has loved us and sent His Son to be the sacrifice, the propitiation for our sins. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. When we love like Jesus, not a culture that overlooks sin or accepts it, but a culture that points them to what is truly broken and seeks to heal them through the love of Christ, truthful and gentle. And the question is, who do people see when they see you? Do they see Jesus? Do they see the love of God? Are we known by our love?

This word, this new commandment to love one another, D.A. Carson says, it's simple enough for a toddler to memorize, profound enough that the most mature believers are repeatedly embarrassed at how poorly they come and put it into practice. Love one another as I have loved you, so you must love one another. Father in heaven, may we see your love. May we know your love. May we put this love into practice in our world that you would call us to conviction to those places where we are abrasive and hard-hearted and unforgiving, seeking our own gain, rejoicing in the hurts of others. Help us rather to love like Jesus. Help us to see him more clearly. Help us to see his love for us and may we reflect.